Is it clutter, a collection, or hoarding?

In all the years I taught Clutter-Clearing Classes at Clark (just so I could alliterate), we focused on the problems of garden variety TMS (Too Much Stuff), because very few of my students admitted to hoarding.

My perspective on the differences among these problems expanded after hearing an interview with Rebecca Falkoff, about her new book, Possessed: A Cultural History of Hoarding.

But first, some definitions:

  • Clutter: too much stuff for the space allotted, such that it looks messy and distracting. It’s often the result of being busy and/or not paying attention. Given anywhere from a few minutes to a few days of effort, the space can be cleared without a whole lot of personal distress. We’ve all been there.
  • Hoarding: so much clutter and disorganization that spaces can no longer be used as intended and the person’s health or safety may be threatened. Two separate behaviors are involved:
    • The urge to acquire stuff, which remains unfulfilled by acquiring. The search and acquisition is pleasurable, though short-lived.
    • The inability to let the stuff go when it’s neither needed or useful. Letting go is very distressing. 
  • Collecting: there may be a lot of Stuff, but collectors typically focus on particular kinds of objects, each item of which is different from the others. The collection is organized and often is set up for display so that others can appreciate it. It is interesting (at least to the collector) and may be valuable. This is what I tell myself as I sort through my growing heap of Lego bins and admire my current display of favorite models.
    lego bin

    Hoarding Legos? or a collection?

    Lego Volkswagon modelss

Questions that arose for me after the podcast discussion

  • Is what we call “hoarding” an issue of class? A person with little money can’t afford the space to hold their accumulations. But when a wealthy person has a lot of Stuff (several homes, boats, art), society is impressed; we think it’s a mark of success. It doesn’t look like hoarding because the wealthy have the square footage to house it all. For example, in the last 20 years of his life, the “collector” JP Morgan spent $900 million (in today’s dollars) acquiring manuscripts and art, but he had “houses on his houses,” as my mom used to say—one of which is now a fabulous museum and library
  • Are the super wealthy hoarders of money? Like how much does a person need to feel they have enough? And at what cost to society? Is it a bit like a kid hoarding his Halloween candy, not caring so much about eating it himself, but wanting to make sure his siblings don’t get any of it? 
  • Who belongs to what, or vice versa? We call our Stuff, our belongings. At what point do we belong to (are run by) our Stuff? Do we imagine that having more stuff will help us feel more like we belong? As George Carlin once said, “Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body.”

What do you think?

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All the feels: when letting go is hard

Q. When is an object is more than an object?
A. When it’s the violin you got when you were twelve, and with which you’ve had a love/hate relationship ever since.

Some “things” are just things and it’s easy to let go of them. However, a few things have accumulated so much energy around them that saying goodbye is like a little death.

My violin is a pretty thing, with a very sweet sound. Inside, a hand-inscribed label reads Parker Ryan, New York 1888. It was a bitch to play well, partly because the neck was a little thick and partly because my fingers never liked to move fast.

Letting go of musical instruments isn't easy. Creatingjoyfulspaces.com with Joy Overstreet

A lot of emotion and history was tied up in this instrument. A lot of emotion. Tear streaks (frustration) are still visible on the varnish.

My mother, a professional musician, wanted all three of her daughters to play at least one instrument. Mine was to be the violin. I detested practicing by myself. Those screeches, those sour notes—I was blessed/cursed with a good ear, and my own playing offended it. To my way of thinking, the violin was a lonely instrument. I always wanted to hear the underlying chord structure, like when I played in the high school orchestra or when Mom accompanied my practice sessions. This no doubt influenced my decision to drop the violin in favor of the guitar once I got to college.

The violin stayed in its case until 2000, when I was so inspired by a gifted local swing fiddler, James Mason, that I decided to try my hand at playing the “fiddle.” FYI: same instrument, but you play a fiddle by ear instead of reading the notes on the page. Oh, and you improvise on the melody—terrifying and frustrating to someone so beholden to the written note. Still, it was happy music with a beat, and there were plenty of guitarists around to play backup.

My fiddle pushed me way outside my comfort zone when I took it and my mediocre skills to the Catskills for Western Swing Week at Ashokan fiddle camp where my fiddling hero was teaching (turns out James’ sister, Molly Mason, is the wife of Jay Unger, founder of the camp and composer of “Ashokan Farewell,” which still makes me cry just thinking about it. James and Molly were local kids, raised in Battle Ground).

My fingers have gotten increasingly sluggish and lately the arthritis in my left hand has made my little finger so unreliable that it was time to let the fiddle go. (Letting go of something because I’m too old to use it carries emotion too…)

Last week I took my violin to David Kerr, owner of Kerr Violins, where I learned that age and prettiness doesn’t always make for a great violin. Turns out my bow was worth a lot more than the instrument. So he’s buying the bow and sending the violin on to a music non-profit in NE Portland for low income kids, Bravo Orchestra.

The emotion I feel is tied up in so many “if only” and “should haves” —mostly about practicing so little, which seems to be correlated with skill. Who knew?
But what’s done is done, and what’s not done is not done. I hope the kid who gets my violin will love playing it.

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The emotional cost of inaction…

Boulder of inertia, Joy Overstreet feng shui consultant, Portland ORWhen you have a problem that’s been hanging around for many years (clutter, extra weight, a sour relationship) you have three options: DO something about it; make complaints and noncommittal gestures in its general direction; or acknowledge you’re perfectly fine with the status quo.

The people who come to my clutter-clearing classes at Clark and who came to my Thin Within classes back in the 1970s had been in the second category and decided they needed someone to help get the Boulder of Inertia rolling.

Hence at Tuesday night’s clutter class we spent a good deal of time looking at the price we pay for years of ineffective (or no) action. We made a list, starting with the most obvious and physical: the cost of a storage unit ($200/mo x 12 =  $2,400/yr), and the square footage in the house that could be used for an art studio/office/guest space/yoga room.

Then we brainstormed the emotional costs (ugh—it’s heavy):

  • Can’t find anything -> wasted time, buying duplicates
  • Anger at partner and/or self
  • Shame that things seem out of their control
  • Too embarrassed to have anyone visit the home
  • Depressed and exhausted every time they see the piles
  • Don’t deserve pleasurable activities because of mess
  • Distressed that their treasures have lost so much value (at least in today’s glutted market)
  • Resentment of family members whose stuff it was
  • Resentment of family members who won’t help or take the stuff

We made another list: how they’ll feel when the home is as they envision it could be, and their lives finally have space for what is really important to them. Suddenly they see the light and can hardly wait to get started.

Next week we cover tossing tools & techniques, and what to do with the ten thousand things.

If you’ve got a problem on which you can’t seem to make headway, consider making a list of the costs of inaction, and the rewards of completion. Then stand up, count 5-4-3-2-1 and take that first step.

I’m on teaching hiatus till fall, but am happy to make house calls if you need help sooner.

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God is in the details. Or maybe the devil?

Path in the Portland Japanese Garden. Joy Overstreet, Portland's personal color analyst, colorstylePDX.com The mid-century architect Mies van der Rohe had two famous sayings: “Less is more,” and “God is in the details.” As someone who has cleared a lot of clutter over the years, both mine and the clutter of clients and students, I’m definitely a less is more kind of gal. (Here’s a pitch for my upcoming clutter-clearing class at Clark…)

One reason to get rid of the extraneous in your life is that what’s important can shine. The beautiful details…

As for who is in the details? On the one hand, you can create a perfect plan, but still be tripped up by the devilish details of implementation. On the other hand, when you see the details in the handiwork of a committed craftsperson it’s awe-inspiring.

I find both human-made and nature-made details endlessly awe-inspiring. Both are always on display at the Portland Japanese Garden, where I soothe my soul with a visit about once a month. Travel and Leisure Magazine named it one of America’s most beautiful gardens. It’s only 5-1/2 acres but you can lose yourself in this magical realm where no detail is ignored. The trees and shrubs are living sculptures, the twisting paths are laid with stepping stones that are as interesting as the views around each corner, and even the bamboo fences are works of art.

 the Portland Japanese Garden. Joy Overstreet, Portland's personal color analyst, colorstylePDX.com

I aspire to this spare, intentional aesthetic, but who am I kidding! I can’t draw or paint or make things (well, I am a good cook, but not an artful one). I barely have the patience to make my bed every morning. The closest I come is as #1 Appreciator of Details. My iPhone camera is my third eye. As I’ve mentioned before, I’m crazy about tree trunks and bark patterns, but I’m also nutty about magnolia pods.

Magnolias - Joy Overstreet, Portland's personal color analyst, colorstylePDX.com

What sort of details make you happy?

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If you’re bored with collecting ceramic frogs…

Artful Collections at the LA Central Library

Chandelier of the world at LA Central Library

After reading The Library Book, by Susan Orlean, a love letter to libraries and librarians everywhere, but particularly to the Central Library in Los Angeles, I had to go there when I was visiting my brilliant son, who is a filmmaker.

You know I’m not a big fan of collecting, but it you’re going to collect stuff, why not collect and display stuff nobody else would even consider worthy?

That’s what the special exhibits librarian must have thought. After we toured the amazing building we went the Annenberg Gallery to see 21 Collections, featuring 21 different and very quirky collections: vintage candy wrappers, a matchbooks from various SoCal gay bars, small pieces of asphalt from various American highways, including Rte 66, a few of Tom Hanks’ typewriters, some birds’ nests with eggs, doll’s hats, the liners from business envelopes. Crazy stuff.

Here are a few I got a kick out of:

Pencil Collage by Grandma Prisbey who had 17,000 of them

“Diet” candy – very popular and totally ineffective

Chicken Dinner candy???

Envelope security linings

Museum of Asphalt

Who can resist an “Asphalt Museum” ?

A giant elephant made of walnuts for the 1893 Worlds Fair

Diorama, one of many made for a traveling black history museum by an African American teacher, Karen Collins, who wanted to bring stories of black culture to school kids.

Marie Kondo would approve, I’m sure, because for these collectors, they spark joy. What would be in your special “Museum?”

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Clutter-Clearing: Baby Steps or the Full Kondo?

Did you resolve to simplify for New Years?

It’s a brand new year and we’re bursting with resolve to be better, do better, feel better. “This is the year I will finally _____.” (You fill in the blanks. My own list is long.)

“Yes!” you exclaim. “I’m on it!” And then the overwhelm kicks in, followed by rationalizations along with memories of previous failed efforts.

Me too. My customary strategy is to tip-toe into my new improved self, taking a few baby steps every day. For example I want to take a daily walk no matter what. So the first day I put on my coat, tied my shoes, then stepped outside into the rain. I could have stopped there, but since I was already out the door I just kept going. Starting is always the hardest part. It’s that boulder of inertia.

Baby steps also help get my clutter-clearing students going. I call it the Swiss cheese method. You set a timer for 15 minutes, open a drawer or pick a book shelf and punch holes in the contents by removing each thing you no longer need, love or use. When the timer dings you can stop (or keep going if you want to). I think of this as a negative process, in that you take away things you don’t want. Unfortunately, given the number of drawers, cupboards, shelves and closets we have, this could take a very long time. Imagine what it would be like to live with the survival level of simplicity captured by Peter Menzel in his photo book of families around the globe with all their stuff spread in front of their homes. Here is a family in Bhutan–basically cooking & eating utensils and some blankets:

Which brings me to the new Marie Kondo “Tidying Up” series on Netflix.  Her technique is opposite of the Swiss cheese method. It focuses on the positive—keeping only things you love. This is the scary part: you take everything (and she means EVERYTHING) in a certain category, starting with clothes, dump them all on the bed or open floor space, then one by one pull out those items that “spark joy” to keep. The remaining items get thanked for their service and let go.

When the people on her show see the MOUNTAIN of their own clothes, the impact is palpable. “HOLY CRAP!” they all say. They are appalled, mortified. Kondo just smiles sweetly, benignly—unperturbed.

I’ve read her books, done her process when I down-sized five years ago, and teach the method in my classes, however watching her work with each set of clients made me understand at a much deeper level the transformative power of what she’s doing. It’s clear that for her this work is sacred. She believes we deserve to live in homes that lift us up, affirming the selves we want to be and the futures we envision for ourselves. It takes a week or two for this epiphany to sink into her clients’ hearts, but once it does, they are on fire — letting go and reorganizing with astonishing enthusiasm and gratitude. This show operates on a completely different plane from “Hoarders.”

I admit that I never made the single giant mountain of my clothes, or of my books, but I did do it by sub-category—tops, then bottoms, then footwear, etc. Fiction, non-fiction, cookbooks. Is it now time for me to do the Whole Enchilada? the Full Kondo on my condo?  The category that scares me the most is paper… aaagghh paper! I think that will have to wait till I finish my book, otherwise I may never make it out alive.

Did you notice Kondo’s distinctive personal style? She dresses with a clear intention of the message she wants to convey: “I’m approachable and compassionate.” Her coloring is that of a soft Jewel-Tone Summer, and she has a Summer’s quieter personality. Her “brand uniform” is a simple off-white sweater, flared skirt, black tights and ballet flats. For her stage set (her home?) she uses a Summer’s muted rose (her skin tones), taupe and gray. Although she has the high contrast of a Winter, she lacks the somewhat aloof elegance that characterizes many Winters.

P.S. My next Clutter-Clearing Class at Clark College will be Tuesday evenings, April 16-23. Catalog isn’t out yet, but we’ll be digger deeper into Kondo’s process, I promise.

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The elephant in the room…

Two elephants actually…

And they weren’t really in the room; they were sitting in the back yard at the home of my ex-, Martin, who is downsizing and moving back to the Bay Area from whence we came.

As anyone who has down-sized before a big move knows, it’s daunting to sort through a lifetime of possessions, each with its own story to tell—keep or toss? keep or toss? And if not keep, but not toss either, where will it go? I’ve been through this several times myself, and have heard all the stories in my clutter-clearing classes…

Still, when it’s your own stuff, it feels different; it’s significant. Hence this long post.

I’ve tried to stay clear of this emotional process (I mean, how annoying is it to have your clutter-clearing ex- ride herd on you?) Instead, our three kids descended on him for a 3-day weekend in early October get him started. Mostly, though, he alone has had to make those decisions—hundreds of them—with Every.Single.Thing. Out of sheer exhaustion he finally decided to abandon whatever he wasn’t taking to be dealt with by an estate sale specialist after he’s vacated, rather than go the Craigslist route.

So, last weekend I stopped by to pick up a couple of things he’d set aside for me. Then I saw the elephants. “What do you plan to do with the elephants?” I asked him.

“Please… please, stop! I can’t bring one more thing, Joy. They’re going in the estate sale.”

That’s when I lost it. He lost it too. Lots of tears to go around–those two blue ceramic elephants were a stand-in for the grief we both felt at this enormous shift in our relationship. Even though we’ve not been married in sixteen years, we’ve been close friends since we first met in 1982. But that wasn’t all.

The elephants weren’t just any old piece of decor; they’re part of family history going back to 1895 when Martin’s two adventurous spinster great-aunts Marian and Alice Burr traveled by steamship around the world. The elephants came back with them from China, along with several lovely pieces of Asian art and furniture.

On the last auntie’s death, Martin’s father and evil step-mother inherited these treasures. However, evil step-mother made off with all the family heirlooms when she divorced Dr. Overstreet. But then she got Alzheimers. The only relative kind enough to care was Martin, who eventually got her settled in a care facility. When she died, the heirlooms returned to the family—ours.

At the time (1985) I did not welcome these intruders into my very boring middle class home, because my taste in home decor was seriously under-developed. (To be truthful, I had no taste, period, so there’s hope for everyone.) However, with the help of two amazing gay decorators (Queer Eye prototypes) who actually knew what they were doing, we incorporated all of it in our Berkeley home, and gradually I came to love every single piece. More truth: they were the guys who first opened my eyes to how the right paint color could pull a room together and make the art pop. I had gagged at their suggestion we ditch our white living room walls in favor of a color I can only describe as a cross between elephant gray and baby poop. And it was sensational.

When Martin and I separated in 2002 he had no place for the elephants, so I took them to serve as greeters and guardians at my front door until I down-sized further and gave them back. And now they awaited a yard sale where some random stranger was going to haul them off for a few bucks. No way were my two former companions going to be a bargain hunter’s find–but how could I find a spot for them in my tiny condo? I called my daughter in tears and she agreed to welcome them. They will remain in the family and disaster was averted.

[Until I sat down to write this, it never even occurred to me to wonder about how much the elephants might be worth. Whoa! A quick peek on eBay uncovered a similar but not-nearly-so-lovely pair of the same vintage for sale at $2,000.]

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Further elephantine thoughts: my first true yoga teacher, Sundari SitaRam, is now an international elephant savior. She has created a non-profit, Heart of Ganesh, aimed at stopping elephant abuse and slaughter. Currently they’re working in Sri Lanka. If you’re looking for a place to make a meaningful tax-deductible contribution, I am awed by all they’re accomplishing with the local families and children who must live with the elephants.

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Coming next week: I meet the guy who chooses color for Nike shoes. It was not love at first sight.

Do you listen to podcasts? I am completely enamored with 99% Invisible with Roman Mars. It’s about the history and design of objects so ordinary we don’t even think about them. Next week I’ll link to the six shows he did about aspects of the clothes we wear. But the one that blew my socks off laughing was a sample from Ian Chillag’s podcast called Everything is Alive, in which he interviews inanimate objects as if they had personalities and feelings (feng shui on comedy steroids). This one is an improvised interview with a can of generic cola. It’s totally weird, sweet and thought-provoking. Let me know what you think the next time you pull a tab on one of these cans… (and you may decide I’m such a nut you’ll unsubscribe. Oh well.).

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Is it time to think about a holiday gift for someone special? I’m still doing consultations, both for personal color analyses or home color palettes. A color analysis for a special someone (including yourself; guys also!) is a gift that keeps on giving for decades. I’m happy to create gift certificates. Let me know whether you need a weekday or weekend appointment, and I’ll contact you with possible openings.

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Paint colors: how to lead the eye and set a mood

Visual trickery is so much fun!

I live in a 730 sq ft condo in a hundred-year-old converted warehouse. It’s basically a studio apartment because the bathroom is the only space with a door. When I moved in, the walls and ceiling were white; the cabinets were wood with slate grey countertops, and there was a big steel HVAC pipe running the length of the living space. In other words, a hip industrial space, but not feminine. And I don’t look good in white.

So, I used my color consultant’s process on myself for the makeover:

1. Look at what I call “the givens,” which means the architectural detail that won’t change short of a major remodel – flooring, woodwork and cabinetry (if not already painted), appliances, countertops, any stonework (for example on a fireplace), as well as the floor plan and natural light sources. Furniture, rugs and art may be moveable, but they’re part of the assessment.

2. Look at what wants to be seen and what is better left in the shadows. In my case I did not want people to linger in the front hall and look at my often rumpled bed, which was the first thing they saw if they looked to the right on entering. I wanted them instead to be drawn fully into the living area. I also did not want them to see the ugly unpaintable back side of the 8′ long Ikea closet that separated my “bedroom” from the living part of the space. Finally, I didn’t want to make the HVAC pipe a feature.

3. Give each space to have its own personality, while having all the spaces live together in color harmony. In an ideal world the color palette also reflects the client’s personal colors because, well, it will be flattering and authentic.  Which is where I started–with my hair, eye, and blush skin tones. Navy (not shown in these color sticks) is my version of black.

I was fortunate that the slate counters and HVAC pipe were already gray, so I chose a gray for the kitchen walls, which made the cabinets seem less floaty and helped minimize the HVAC pipe. I also found some interestingly textured curtains at Target which a friend (thank you Kate) and I stapled to the backside of the Ikea cabinets.. Unfortunately it was the last pair in the store… however I had a navy corduroy remnant in my sewing stash which I tacked to the lower part. This actually worked well, because it would be the backdrop for my “desk” (a slab of melamine resting on an Ikea leg and my ancient file cabinet, both of which I painted navy to help them disappear.

Originally the front hall was a burnt orange–not my color. I knew that dark colors recede, so after painting that wall THREE times: 1. gray (which was completely blah there), then 2. the Copen blue of my eye color (too strong), and finally 3.  deep navy–which I love. It’s soothing to look at from my bed and it does the trick of drawing visitors beyond the dark hallway to the lightness of the main room. For what it’s worth, it was the color I wanted to paint it from the get-go, but talked myself out of it from fear it would be to dark. Shoulda listened to my instincts… live and learn.

To make the space more feminine, with the help of another friend (thank you Chris!) I painted the long wall that connects my bedroom and the living room the dusty pink/coral. My gray couch sits in front of it, with an eye color throw, and a skin tone pillow. Those colors are also echoed in the art.
The picture over the bed is a layered and scraped crayon depiction of ocean waves at night, which I find very soothing, and it’s appropriately feng shui for that corner of the space.

Art over the bed in an earthquake-prone region is a no-no, but the frame is very lightweight, with a thin sheet of acrylic instead of glass. Other good over-the-bed art choices are quilts, weavings and fabric wall hangings.

Anyway, here’s how the HVAC pipe and the kitchen cabinets now look with the wall behind painted gray. If you want to see the earliest “before” photos of my condo when I was just a renter, they’re here in an earlier post.

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A few months ago I wrote about using paint to anchor a free-floating mantel in a Bend client’s living room. It was bad design in the first place and eventually she is redoing the entire fireplace facade, but it was a quick inexpensive improvement.

What’s your holiday decorating style?  By necessity and inclination, I’m a minimalist. More here.

Coming next week: My ex is moving back to the Bay Area and I’m grieving. He’s also letting go of many Things we bought as a couple. Tomorrow I make a last pass through the Stuff and all the shared memories attached.

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Is it time to think about a holiday gift for someone special? I’m still doing consultations, both for personal color analyses or home color palettes. A color analysis for a special someone (including yourself; guys also!) is a gift that keeps on giving for decades. I’m happy to create gift certificates. Let me know whether you need a weekday or weekend appointment, and I’ll contact you with possible openings.

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Top ten reasons to free yourself from clutter

Joy Overstreet, clutter clearing, downsizing and feng shui expert, Portland/Vancouver. Creatingjoyfulspaces.comWhen Less is More!

Every time I teach my clutter-clearing class at Clark College I hear the same sob stories (aka excuses) about why we keep so much Stuff. Could this be yours?

  1. But I might need it some day
  2. My ___ gave it to me
  3. It reminds me of when I ___
  4. I’m storing it for my kids
  5. It cost $$$ back then and I’d lose money if I sell
  6. It’s part of my ___ collection
  7. I don’t even know where to begin

A wise man I know once said, “You either have the results you wanted, or you have your reasons.” Perhaps you’re now ready to get results like ones shared by my Clutter Class students:

  • I can’t believe how much less stressed I feel
  • With all this open space my favorite things are out where I can appreciate them
  • Cleaning is so much easier
  • I feel like I’ve regained control of my life
  • I no longer feel guilty about all the stuff I never use
  • I have time and energy to focus on what’s actually important to me
  • I can breathe when I drive into our garage and see bare floor
  • A downsized wardrobe makes dressing a cinch
  • My kids are grateful they won’t have to wade through a lifetime of our crap
  • It makes me happy to know my donated stuff will help others
  • I’m saving $100 every month ($1,200/yr) by emptying our storage unit, enough for us to take a nice vacation this year.

The easiest way to regain your sanity is to simplify, simplify, simplify. The good news is I teach a two-session class at Clark College in Vancouver every quarter that will give you the motivation, tools and kick in the butt to get you going. More info here. Next class is Tuesday evenings Feb. 27 – March 6.

From former student Patsy C:

Since taking your class I have gone thru every drawer and closet in our house.  We had a yard sale, I’ve sold things on Craig’s List, and donated many items.  I tossed a lot of my parents’ papers and photos and distributed the rest to family members. My husband got rid of 300 record albums.  We are now ready to put our house up for sale so we can move to a smaller one level. One of the things that you said that has really stuck with me is “how many things of your  Grandmother’s do you need to remember her?”  Turns out, just a few. I am also happy to report that as of last week I have lost 21 pounds!

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Refreshing a tired exterior

This cute bungalow was in need of woodwork repair, new front steps, and fresh paint. The owners liked the original colors but thought it was time for a slightly more sophisticated version of them. The white was a little harsh in the Pacific Northwest landscape and the green a bit too pastel.

Additionally, the front steps were a danger for people exiting the house because we always expect to step out at the same level as the floor inside. A lower first step is a feng shui no-no, so they replaced them, adding that crucial step at the top.

The body is now sand-colored, the aqua has become teal, and the door is slightly less orange. Subtle changes, but so much better.

Does your home need a paint refresher or total overhaul? I’d love to help: call me at 360-903-3659

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